Do you remember when you were young and so joyous about life, growing up, and planning ahead? In high school I would be planning my entire week out from beginning to end. Between classes, work shifts, home chores, and social time, somehow I managed to find me time and time to sleep. Alright, well I did not sleep very much in high school, but you catch my drift; I was a planner.

Back then I would plan about what I wanted to do after high school ended, and then I graduated and all of that organization planning ahead bullshit went straight out the door. These days it is hard enough for me to decide what to eat for dinner, let alone plan out my entire week. Back then, in my youthful teenage days, I was ambitious enough to pack my lunch the night before and lay out my outfit for the following day. Now I put on whatever passes the smell check and usually starve until it is time to eat that dinner that I never figured out. It will be frozen pizza again, I suppose.

I am tired of being a disorganized, unemployed mess though. I am honestly sick of sleeping in until 9:30 or 10 am. I am past staying up until midnight watching reruns of shows I have already seen, and I am done with being a standard, lazy American. I am finally ready to start getting my act together. Twenty-one is not too late to start planning ahead, is it?

I have not yet, but I do plan on buying a journal to start organizing my days in. My biggest decision is do I want a weekly or a monthly planner? Which works better for you in your experience (unless you too have been a cluttered wreck since high school)?

Anyways, I need to start waking up earlier, getting in exercise on a daily, plotting out my time to write between my blogging and my four-part saga, and also balance my social schedule. It is no longer a want to be organized, it is becoming a necessity. One can only avoid the inevitable chaos of life for so long before deciding to take it by the reigns and control it for themself.

So starting tomorrow I will wake up at a decent time to a nagging alarm, and tonight I will go to bed before midnight to avoid the urge to press “snooze” for three hours. Yesterday I worked out for the first time in a while, and it felt great! So I am going to do it again after this post. As for my next blog post, I am going to start setting time aside on certain days to allow for stress-free writing. All of this and more can be yours for five easy installments of STOP BEING SO DAMN LAZY. Because let’s be real, I am not the only one out there behaving this way, and it has got to end for our own sakes.

Sure I would rather be eating pizza and chips right now, but I am having a healthy snack of apples and peanut butter. Yes I would like to be in zombie-mode in front of the TV, but being productive feels so much better than wasting an entire afternoon rewatching The Office for the tenth time. These habits need to be replaced by new, better ones and it can be done. If you are dealing with the same struggles know that you can change your ways, but get this; you are the only one who can do that.

Your family cannot force you to change your ways, and a healthy relationship should not involve your S/O telling you to change. No, this is your decision and you must make it, act on it, and follow through with it on your own. Same goes for me right now, it is my decision and my duty to follow through. So join me in changing your bad habits for the better, and also get organized. I guess I kind of went off on a tangent here from my original topic of organization…whoops.

Anyways, in the wise words of Marshall Mathers:

I’m not afraid to take a stand. Everybody come take my hand, we’ll walk this road together, through the storm, whatever weather, cold or warm, just letting you know that you’re not alone.

Thanks again for reading my subjective blog post, please subscribe if you are enjoying my blogging so far, and comment below with which you think I should use to start reorganizing my life: a weekly or a monthly planner? (Please do comment because I really am not sure which to do, tysvm.)

Future Making & Decision Planning

Now that I am in my twenties, every morning I wake up to face the crippling fear that is answering the question: What am I going to do with my life? More so, what is remaking of my life.

Most of my peers went to college, or got married and are starting families now, so they seem to be rather on track with life. I, on the other hand, am trapped in limbo. I did not go to college or any trade school and I cannot open up enough to have a boyfriend let alone start a family. I have zero motivation to do schooling now, and really I just want to roll over one morning and find out my writing took off and that I am a millionaire who only has to type letters on a keyboard for the rest of my days.

Unfortunately the likelihood of becoming a famous author is greater after I die than while I am alive. So what am I supposed to do with myself then? Although I am good at doing most things I am taught, and I am a fast learner, my only real passion is writing.

“Well there are lots of options for that!” those ambitious folks will say to me. They tell me I could get into news or freelance writing. People always need reviews, I can write reviews all day if I wanted. But that is not what I want, to write boring words and adjectives that do not express me, my emotion, or anything other judgement on someone else’s creativity.

I want to write fictional stories. I want to allow readers to escape from the real world and enter whichever one I have conjured up. I want to inspire others to be better with my words, and also to enjoy life through my fictional tales of redemption, triumph, and teamwork. That is what I want, but statistically speaking the odds are not in my favor.

This means that I, at the fresh age of twenty-one, must start decision planning and future making…I mean future planning and decision making. The point is I need to start deciding on what the f*** I am to do with the next thirty or forty years of my life and the only thing I can even decide on is the military.

The military has benefits, I do not need to have any experience, and if I enjoy it I can retire in twenty years. That means if I were to join now I could retire before I turned forty-two. It also will teach me discipline which we all know that these past three generations could use a bit more of that. Myself included obviously. All I have to do is pee clean and pass a physical and I could be on the path to the rest of my life.

Still, I worry about whether this is the right choice. I would be away from my family, my friends, and would not be able to have a relationship of my own or start a family of my own for another few years. Then again, my family is annoying, my friends are bad influences (not all of them, but many are), and I am currently friendzoning/ignoring multiple guys right now anyways, so maybe this is the best time to say eff it, and join. Perhaps now, while I am bitter towards life and all its happenings is the perfect time to just up and leave everything I know behind and start new.

Maybe then I would be able to figure out who I really am without any outer influences, and who I truly want to be. Or am I just trying to run away from my problems here in this small town…

What do you think? Is it wrong to leave everything behind in hopes of finding something better? Or should I just say eff it and settle down, get married, have a couple of kids, and let them live on to be my legacy?